End a Life Start an Existence
by dramagirl725
Summary: Edward Masen: Over all a happy kid until the Spanish Influenza comes in wiping out everyone important to him. It is about to take his life too when Dr. Cullen steps in to save his life. But what goes on through Edward’s mind when he realizes he is not onl
1. I am still alive?

**Author's Note: **This is my first fanfic here, so I hope you enjoy it. Big thanks to Mel for fixing the spelling on this. Also this is a Edward and Carlisle fic. No pairings. As much as I love the rest of the Cullens I wanted to focus on how it all began.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or any of the characters in them. I am just a fan that writes fan-fictions to hold me over until her third glorious book comes out. (Another thing I will not own)

**End a Life, Start an Existence**

Charter 1: I am still alive? 

The pain was finally starting to die down. Thank god! It seemed like it would go on forever. At first I thought it was the flu, but soon I realized that no illness could cause this much pain. That's when it hit me… I was dead! I had to be dead. The pain I was suffering through was either hell, or purgatory deciding if I was going to hell. I desperately hoped for option number two. For one I could never disappoint my mother. She is truly a wonderful person, or was, I was not sure if she was still alive. What a great son I am to not even know if my own mother is still living.Wherever she is I prayed she is not going through the pain I went through. Or the pain I am still going through now. It had started to die down but it is still unbearable. That was the other reason I hoped this was not hell. If that were the case this pain would last eternity.

To help me think of anything but the pain I tried to calculate all the things I could have done to land myself in hell. A little while ago when the pain was at its fullest I could never hope to distract myself. However, now that it was taking a break I had to take advantage of that. For the fire that seemed to be burning me from the inside out could return to full power any second.

I've never killed anyone

I am still a virgin

I am pretty sure I did a good job honoring my parents

I told a couple of lies here and there, but it was mostly just kid stuff.

Surely that was not bad enough to land me in hell. Maybe this is Purgatory! O please o please let this be Purgatory. The pain was starting to go away. That's when a voice interrupted my thoughts.

"It is alright Edward it is all right. Don't worry this will all be over soon. You are doing great."

The voice was soothing. I was sure that this was real, because there was no way I could imagine such a voice. No one could. It was musical, fartherly, and made me feel a bit better. I would not be surprised if this was God himself. I wanted so much to force my eyes open, to look in to this face that was sure to be as beautiful as the voice, but I could not bring myself to open them.

It was then I realized I had heard this voice before. I could not quite place it, but this was defiantly not the first time I heard it. I tried to concentrate. I remembered the voice was trying to get me to stop screaming, and was telling me I would be fine. He was here; through all the pain he was here. Well almost the whole time. I remember him turning to leave, and me begging him to not leave me alone. Or at least trying to beg him; in reality it came out more like "Staay ont go plees! Lease don eave me lone". I remember him telling me not to worry that he would be back very shortly, (something about needing to eat) and that he would not leave me again. I did not believe him. I really wanted to but there was no reason for him to return.

Yet here he was just as he promised. I wanted to thank him for just being here, however, my throat was burning, from all my screaming I assumed. He must have noticed I was trying to speak because he replied for me.

"Don't worry about talking just yet. Just give it some time and it will get easier". I also thought I heard _he has been through so much I really hope this was not a mistake. _I wanted to ask what was a mistake but two things stopped me. One was my throat, and the other was I was not sure I really heard this. The more I thought the more I realized I probably just imagined it. So I let that go. I knew if I did waste any energy talking it would need to be for something more important then that. I started to prioritize my questions. Starting with this isn't Hell right? However, I had others too like my mother. What had happened to my mother?

I tried to ask him this but no words came out. I tried again. "My mother," it was only a whisper, I was not sure he would be able to hear me "how's my mother?" I was afraid to ask this question, but I had to know.

"Why don't you just try and rest we will have plenty of time to talk when you are feeling better." _An eternity of time._ "The pain is getting better right?" _Please let the pain be getting better._

I forced my eyes open and nodded. When I looked into his extremely handsome face I realized it was my doctor. His response confused me most doctors would not be begging that the pain would be getting better. Quite the contrary, they would sound confident even if they were not………….Wait a second if this was Doctor Colson, no Culls, no Cullen, yes that was his name Doctor Cullen. If this was truly Doctor Cullen then did that mean I was still alive?

I could not count my blessings just yet, I was pretty sure this was doctor Cullen, but I could be imaging this whole thing. However, I honestly felt all of this was real. I could not be in the dark any longer I had to get my answers. Besides the pain was nothing to what it was just moments ago. I also felt more energy coming my way. I felt more awake now then I have been sense I first became sick.

"So" I hesitated trying to find the right words, "does this mean I am still alive?" I waited for him to answer feeling like a very ignorant child.

_That is a very interesting question how do I begin._ I thought about what he just said. No it was not that interesting, as far as how do I begin how about with yes or no. This is not rocket science. Unless of coarse this _was_ Hell and, he was trying to find an easy way to break it to me. That had to be it after all if I was alive how hard would it be to say yes Edward you are alive. There were no shades of gray there.

"Look" I replied, "if I am in Hell you can just tell me"

_What? Hell, is that what he was thinking?_ "No Edward trust me, you are not in Hell." Then maybe this is heaven and all that pain was purgatory. It would make sense; he did fit the part of an angel. Expect for his grammar, which was off. For instance, saying he instead of you when talking to me.

"So I am in heaven?"

"No Edward you are still right here on earth." _He still thinks he is dead. _Man Doctor Cullen was a really strange person. How was it he did not know where to begin to tell me I was alive? Not to mention that he kept on referring me to he like I was not present for this conversation. I felt the deepest respect for this man that had apparently saved my life, but I was in the room, so speaking of me that way was just plain rude. Why do adults have to feel so superior?

"Look I don't mean to be rude but I am right here so can YOU please address me by my name instead of he like I am not here?"

"I am sorry Edward, I had not even realized I had done so." _In fact I don't remember this at all, and being what I am my memory is flawless. It must be him. Could he still be delusional?_

Now that was it. Not only did he start of his sentence like he was innocent he finishes by doing it again, accusing me of being delusional, and then bragging that because he is a doctor his memory is perfect.

"Hey I am not delusional. I know what I heard, not to mention that you just did it two more times. But maybe if you really think you aren't speaking of me like I am not here then you might need a doctor more then me. Which brings me to my next point just because you are a doctor does not mean your memory is any better then mine."

I looked up at his face feeling the instant urge to apologize. That was extremely rude of me. I can't believe I had just said that. Talking back to your elders (even ones that were less then ten years older) was strictly forbidden. But when I looked at him he did not seem angry. Instead he looked confused as if my words came out in a different language.

"I'm truly sorry I should never had…" He cut me off _How did he do that?_ Wow, maybe it was me, being delusional or stupid I had not done anything so could he have been referring to someone else?

"Do what?" I was sure that now my face looked just as confused as his. _He just did it again._ I looked around almost expecting to see someone else in the room doing something spectacular that would call for a response like the one Doctor Cullen was giving me. Realizing we were alone I turned back to him his face frozen with confusion, the whole time he did not move a muscle …or a _lip!_

"Whoa how did you do that?" _Me? I have not done anything he was the one who…I have never seen anything like this…Wait a second yes I have. Aro was very similar to this; yes it all makes sense now. _

"Well I am so happy everything is all cleared up for you" There was bitter sarcasm in my voice but I did not care. I had managed to sit up by this point; the pain was almost gone. It was however replaced with confusion, frustration, and…_fear._ I always felt I had a decent grasp on the world, but now I felt I knew nothing about anything. My mind was racing to try to keep up, but it could not even process one of my questions never mind all of them.

"Edward please try to stay calm, I know this must be very confusing right now but before I begin to explain anything I need you to answer a few questions.

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End of chapter 1 hope you enjoyed it. I will be gone for the next two days so if it is before the July 14th no this has not been updated. However it will be soon after.


	2. I'm a What

**Chapter 2: I'm A What?**

It had been hours since our conversation began and we were nowhere near finished. I was only sure on a one thing: Dr. Cullen was the craziest man I have ever met. At first I thought that this was some sort of joke he enjoyed trying out on his patients,but the longer we talked the more I realized he really believed every word that he was telling me. I almost felt sorry for him. I mean for him to think that he was a vampire. It was laughable. What was even more laughable was he thought I was one too! As comical as I found this conversation with Dr. Cullen I had real problems to worry about, like my mother.

I wanted to know what happened to her, but felt thatasking Dr. Cullen would get me nowhere. He would probably tell me that she is a witch who likes to cast weird spells. I would have gotten up to leave but I realized we were no longer in the hospital.

"Where are we?" I suddenly blurted out no longer listening to what he was trying to tell me.

"Oh we are at my house. Now if you don't mi…"

"WHAT? You took me to your house. Okay, now I quickly got over the fact he has some urge referring to me as he, and I've tried to be a good sport about the whole vampire thing, but now we are talking about kidnapping!"

_This kid really needs to get his priorities straight. _

"And what is that supposed to mean?" My voice was rising at this point. Controlling my temper was never my best quality.

"Oh I'm sorry Edward…I keep forgetting…I just meant I find it a little different" _or odd_ "that you hear you have been turned into a vampire, and your only concern is that I took you away from the hospital. Again I'm sorry about that, but even with all the commotion going on, someone would have grown suspicious about what was really happening, had we stayed at the hospital."

"Grown suspicious about what?"

"Well; me turning you into a vampire of course."

"Stop!!! Now I hate to be the one to pull you out of this reality, but vampires, and us having the ability to read minds, it is all in your head."

After thinking it over I realized that Dr. Cullen may not have everything plugged in upstairs, but he was not one to be violent. In which case if I tried to leave I most likely would not need to worry about an attack. Once again breaking my concentration Dr. Cullen spoke up.

"Look Edward, I can prove to you right now that all of this is true."

"Really, and how is that?"

"Quite simple; mind reading"

"Fine then if it will make you happy. Oh and only if once I prove you are wrong you have to take me back, and leave me alone. Deal?"

"You mean if."

"What?"

"You mean if you prove me wrong. If that is the case then that is exactly what I will do. You can have my word on that. However, if the tables are turned and it is I that proves you wrong you have to hear me out, and stay at least until I have told you everything." _If you hear everything and still want to leave I won't blame you. _

Was it really that simple? "So let me get this straight: If I am right I get to go, and if I am wrong I have to listen to what you have to say, and then I still get to go?" I must have misunderstood something because no one else would make that kind of deal. But then again no one else would claim to be a vampire either.

"That's the idea." _But once he is proven wrong, and oh how wrong he will be it is going to be a very, very long talk before he is aware of everything._

"Ya, ya, long talk. But I get to leave. Bring on the mind reading! So tell me what exactly am I thinking about right now? I'll even make it simple. I will pick a number."

_Wasn't he even listing to a word I said?_ _Obviously not. If he were, he would have remembered exactly what I said. _"No Edward, it doesn't work that way."

I knew it was not going to be that easy. "Oh of coarse it doesn't. I mean you _can_ read minds, but knowing what someone else is thinking, that's just not how it works." I replied with heavy sarcasm, but this was my fault for thinking dealing with someone crazy would be easy.

Be patient Carlilse, this is what you wanted. Besides it's not really his fault. "Edward it's like I said earlier, only you can read minds. Think about it Edward besides the fact about vampires didn't this conversation seem a little strange. Almost as if I was only speaking to you half the time? Didn't you ask about how I was speaking without moving a lip? Well the answer is right in front of you. Now I know this sounds crazy and you have already been through so much, but I must ask you to hear me out." Look at me Edward you don't see me talking but you can hear me right. 

"O crap!!!"

"What's wrong Edward?" Dr. Cullen had true concern in his voice, but nothing could comfort me at this moment.

"You were right" Misery filled every word. I can't believe Dr. Cullen is right!

Well at least he sees the truth now. 

"I am delusional."

_WHAT? _"What?"

"And here I was thinking that I was cured from the Spanish Influenza." Man this sucks I probably sounded like an idiot to Dr. Cullen, if Dr. Cullen was even here. I was however pretty sure that no matter how out of it I was Dr. Cullen was in the room with me. Once again the potential Dr. Cullen broke my thoughts.

_How can I explain this to him? I guess I could take him hunting, but I really don't want to do that until he has a better grasp of what's going on_. _Well either way I don't want to wait too long, his throat must be burning._

Weather I was imaging him or not Dr. Cullen was good. He always seemed to know exactly what was bothering me, at least physically. The burning in my throat that I first believed to be from my agonizing screams was not going away. In fact each second it seemed to get worse. I craved water. I craved it more now then I ever remember craving a drink in my life. This was not a thirst I was familiar with though. Instead of my mouth being dry it was moist with thick salvia. Yet still the thirst continued. At first I was able to block this from my mind, but now that it was brought up nothing else seemed to matter. Not caring about anything else for the moment except clenching this powerful thirst I decided there would be plenty of time for talk after I had a drink.

"Please Dr. Cullen" but I was interrupted.

"Please Edward, stop with the _Dr._. I would much prefer it if you would refer to me as Carlilse."

"Whatever," I didn't care what he wanted to be called as long as I got some water, "Carlilse, please may I have some water?"

_Oh boy. I was really hoping he would be convinced before we had this conversation._

"What conversation? All I want is some water." Was this really such a huge request?

"I'm sorry Edward but you can't have any water"

"What? Why?" The jerk, what kind of doctor refuses his patients water?

"Well I mean technically I suppose you could, but I assure you it won't help." _The only thing that will take away the thirst you are feeling is blood. Opps I've got to stop thinking_

At this point Carlilse had once again left me lost. "What you mean like a transfusion?"

_Well he would have to know sooner or later anyway._ "No I mean like drinking"

"Drinking Blood? Oh no this is part of your wacko vampire theory again isn't it?"

"It is not a theory, and yes it is."

Now I was at the point of questioning my own insanity, but I at lest wascertain that I was right on this topic. I couldn't hold back any longer. "You're Crazy! I mean completely insane! I don't need blood I need water, and if you won't get me any I will get it myself. Now if you would be so kind asto point me in the direction of your well."

"Look Edward I'm telling you it won't do any good."

"And I'm telling you I don't care. Look I'm really thirsty, and when someone is thirsty they drink water to become less thirsty. Now which way to your well"

He sighed heavily _Well at least this will help him understand the truth. _"Ok fine but I warned you."


End file.
